9 years of marriage

if i could tell myself 9 years ago where i’d be today i’m not quite sure if i’d believe myself. did that just make any sense? never in my wildest dreams would i ever think that 9 years in we’d be living out in the country with sheep and chickens and a baby. never in my wildest dreams would i believe that i was going to work with my future husband in the office and we would have a kid like otto. i wouldn’t have believed a lot of things. but if i could even begin to describe what life is like now to the girl in a wedding dress sitting on a brown folding chair in the choir room of her childhood church waiting for her dad to walk down the aisle i would begin with something like this.

life is going to not going to be easy. you two have been chosen from some pretty rough roads. roads that are not meant for a lot of people to go through but because you are both strong and stubborn and understand a commitment you have been chosen.

the first few years are going to seem really tough. you are going to have hard jobs that take you away from each other. you are going to fight about stupid things like finances and annoying neighbors. but know that this is all not a big deal. you will learn to adapt and you will figure out newlywed life. you will learn that joe appreciates being told he’s doing a good job and eventually he will figure out that small thoughtful notes and gifts go a long way. you will build upon these little findings and set yourselves into a good groove for a few years of just being the two of you.

you are going to get the opportunity to meet some amazing people and travel to some amazing places. you will enjoy a carefree lifestyle where you hop on planes and not slow down and it won’t matter because it’s easy.

after a while though it will get a bit exhausting and you’ll start to crave a change and a slower pace of life. you’ll decide that it’s time for joe to leave his job and join your families company along with you. you’ll sell your subdivision low maintenance house for a lovely money pit in the country. it will literally have a cement pool in the back yard to just toss money into. but you will love it. you’ll start craving weekends at home on the porch. you’ll discover how much you enjoy cooking together and staying home and the travel will become less and less and you’ll become homebodies.

you’ll decide one day that maybe we should start talking about kids and before you could think twice you will find yourself pregnant. you will also quickly learn that the journey to parent hood is like most things, not as simple as you thought it would be. not long after celebrating just the two of you knowing you’re expecting you’re going to start experiencing signs of loss.

and while this is one of the worst things in the world you will learn to truly truly appreciate your husband. his calm demeanor when you feel like the world is crashing down around you. that steady, level headedness that drove you crazy in lesser situations you will come to admire and depend upon. you will recover together and become just a little closer and a little more understanding of each other.

you’ll enjoy a really good year together before deciding to try again. you have an amazing year laughing, crying and remembering and through all of the emotions of that year you will become more and more united as a team.

and then otto will come along. and another curveball is going to come your way. you’ll go through another heartbreak of finding out your baby has a heart problem but slowly, together you’ll find peace in it and prepare for the little ones arrival.

you will spend that year having a lot of highs and lows. you are going to have some sacred memories that only the two of you will appreciate sneaking down to the nicu and picu to visit your son when the hospital is quiet and only the security guard is on the floor. you will witness this new member of your family fight for his life and make it through hands down the darkest time in your life.

and you will come out the other side a better person and again, an even stronger team. otto will teach you one of the greatest lessons in your marriage and that is to continually appreciate each other. you’re still going to have petty fights and disagreements. but at the end of the day you will be closer than you’ve ever been and life will be so so so sweet.

enjoy your 9th year of marriage. you will see how fast and what a blur the years are. savor each moment. slow things down and continue to appreciate the bond you have with your family.



  1. happy anniversary! wishing you many many years of love and laughter and some quiet too. you guys are doing an amazing job and you’re blessed to have found each other. hugs from Illinois!

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