hot shower

what is it about a hot shower that just can reset anything? seriously. i was thinking about that this morning. i woke up and little buddy was trying to get rid of some congestion from sleeping and it caused a bit of gagging and spit up during our morning snuggles. pair that with binks wanting to be let outside around 4am and me forgetting to turn the coffee pot on.. this morning just needed a reset. i put the dogs outside with some grub, held otto until he was comfortable again and just turned on the shower as hot as it could go and just let the water pour over my back and shoulders.

it felt so dang good.

i told myself 30 more seconds about 2 or 3 times before finally reaching for my towel.

sometimes i just need a brain break you know? lately it’s been a teeter totter of emotions for me. one minute i’ll be so confident with how happy and healthy otto is looking and then the next i can be derailed by him completely refusing to eat or spitting up. yesterday i quick ran to the hospital to grab a prescription and i was just hit with the familiar smells and sights. and it started to creep up on me that we would have to come back here. i could feel hot tears welling up in my eyes as all the emotions of those days came flooding from the bottom of my stomach to the top of my throat. i physically stopped, closed my eyes and shook my head to get rid of them. being in the hospital people who saw probably thought i was checking myself in. maybe i should have lol. on my way out i had the lovely receptionist at the desk ask how otto was doing. it made me happy to say, so good. we get to be home for sure over the holidays.

i’ve been really into my devotional lately by ann voskamp called 1000 gifts. and it’s a great reminder everyday that God has this. i am thankful for how far we’ve come. and we will get through this. but you know somedays it’s just easier than others.

 

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