otto one month

my baby is one month old. technically little otto was one month on sunday but we believe in celebrating for days. time seems to have flown by but been so slow at the same time. i look back and i can’t really imagine life how it was without him. i think i’ve learned more about myself in this past month than i have my entire life.


of course we had to take the cliche month marker photo. it’s funny how someone who has only known this outside world already has likes and dislikes. my little otto things that ceiling fans are the most amazing things. he sits in his dock a tot on our bed staring up at the ceiling for hours and hours. eyes wide and sometimes he gets super excited about them and kicks his little legs. he feels the same way about his black and white sheep wallpaper. he could be screaming his head off and when you put him in his crib or changing table it’s an instant fascination. i always tease him that the sheep on the wall are talking to him.

i never really thought of myself as a “baby person” i always felt awkward and uncomfortable holding newborns but it’s different when it’s your own. i love that sometimes i’m the only person who can calm him down. i think it’s what we now call “the boob pillow” i just put him right to my chest and he snuggles right in and it’s light out. this is super adorable at 9am not super adorable at 3am.  since i’m technically not supposed to be breastfeeding him (we have to know exactly how much he eats) it’s nice that we at least have the boob pillow. they serve a purpose.

he clearly is a fan of looking to the left, rarely looking right (zoolander) so we have been working on some tummy time exercises that encourage him to look the other way. news flash: he hates it. he’s a man who knows what he likes and time on the tummy is not it. although he’s super strong and can lift his hole front half up on his own.

and believe it or not he has been developing a taste in music. i thought it was hilarious when he was screaming his head off in the back seat while listening to POP2k on sirius radio. it was nickelback “photograph” and as soon as i put on some elton john radio silence. that is when i realized perhaps this really really is my kid. he may look like joe but we both can’t stand nickelback and find calm in elton john.

overall otto is a wonderful content baby. part of that is due to his heart condition but i think he’s just a good baby. except when it comes to the hours of 5-7am. he eats at 6 and for about an hour before and an hour after it’s fussy pissed off central. which is typically my shift to sleep. however we’re getting used to that. i would rather have him be fussy during those hours than 2am. 

joe and i have had a month to get into parenting too. our bedroom has now become our headquarters. we hang out here, we have dinner here, we basically all just congregate in the bedroom. our typical routine is joe gets home around 6:30 and we have dinner on our bedroom couch, feed otto and do the 9pm routine that comes with it. joe gets some sleep before feeding him at 12am and i feed him at 3am (and pumping) (ugh) and then joe takes him at 6am before heading off to work. i’m so grateful for joe taking some feeding shifts because we are both able to get a few stretches of sleep in there. although i think we are both anxious and ready to someday get rid of that 3am shift.

adjusting to be a temporary stay at home mom… well it’s been nothing short of an adjustment. for the first few weeks i felt like my life came to a screeching halt and in almost every way it did. having a newborn let alone having a newborn with some special needs was a big change. you want to go out and about but have to be super careful because little otto cannot get a virus. it could put us back in the hospital. so we are finding ways to be creative (farmers markets, beach walks etc) but i’m nervous for the colder weather when there are no walking opportunities and we are super limited on options for getting out. we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. i’m super grateful for my mom and mother in law who have been so great about taking him when i need to get out, catch up at the store and at work. we were hoping to start daycare in november but that is looking like less and less of a possibility as we anxiously await our surgery date. it’s such a catch because on one hand you are so grateful that he is doing so well that it keeps getting pushed back but on the other hand you just want him to be well and be done with it. we are putting our faith in God and the doctors that are advising us and keeping a watchful eye on him that the timing for him will be perfect. 

the weird thing is i get anxious to get out and have some time to breath outside of the house but then i find myself super anxious about how he is, what he is doing, and… i miss him! needless to say that the first month has been an absolute roller coaster of learning but i feel with each day we learn something new about each other, figure out the routine a little more and get a little better.

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