baby steps pun intended

guys we are making baby steps forward (pun intended). literally after having what i call $hit days friday and saturday otto slowly has been making a turn around for the better. and i type this with the apprehension that the decision for more surgery could happen with any step of a doctor that walks into […]

otto update

sit down, buckle up and please keep your hands inside the moving vehicle. the PICU should probably come with these instructions because life here (if you can call it that) is a complete roller coaster. if you have been following our updates we’ve just been on a whirlwind of reports, setbacks and plans. allow me […]

this is hard

this is hard. i’ve deleted and retyped that phrase about ten times now. i’m not sure what to say other than this is hard. it’s constant mental and physical battle and my goodness it’s only 11am. last night we went over his echo yesterday with one of the doctors who classified the leaky valve as […]

post op report

i’m not sure i’m in the full mental state to write this post but i’m going to do my best. yesterday seems like 10 years ago and it’s already becoming kind of a blur. but it was unlike anything i have experienced in my life before both good and bad. i’m going to do my […]

taking your child for surgery

you can add taking your child for surgery to the list of things nobody should have to go through. we are preparing the farm for others who graciously offered to watch it for us, cleaning the house, doing that last load of laundry and packing our bags for the hospital. these tasks are taking me […]

a family weekend with otto

this weekend will be our last weekend home as a family of three for a while as we gear up to hunker down and get otto better. it was a weekend where we were very intentional about everything we did, even when we were not doing anything at all if that makes sense. we rested, […]

how heart surgery day is going to go

yesterday was a big long day at the hospital for us. we got a full in depth tour and explanation of how our otto’s heart surgery day is going to go. i hope that through all of this if anyone else is going through what we are going through they get a chance to read […]

best baby shops

having a baby means many many sleepless nights. between feedings, changing and then pumping you have a big of time on your hands around 3am (especially if you have the hands free pumping bra – a true revolution). i have a new(er) bad habit now of ordering stuff at 3am and completely forgetting about it. […]

a season of rest

i was making the schedule for the shop this weekend when it was there staring me right in the face. the lack 4 on a white square, the curser blinking waiting for me to type in workers names. october 4. next week. in some ways i feel like it’s all too soon and some ways […]

results are in

the song “praise God from whom all blessings flow” has been stuck in my head since 3pm yesterday. i’ll start right out and say that the appointment did no go how we had prepared ourselves for it to go. at all. my big strong man at the doctor we started off talking with our surgeon […]

big day small pebble

today is one of the days we’ve been anticipating and dreading all at the same time. today we are meeting with our otto’s surgeon to talk about the pending surgery and hopefully get it scheduled. i hate the idea of having it on the books because that means it’s actually going to happen but at […]

in the trenches

this week is turning out to be a doozy folks and i believe we are officially in the trenches. one that is testing our mental and physical stamina around here. even more so than previous weeks if you can believe that. and yesterday i was just in a really bad head space and had to […]