things i wish i would have known about pregnancy

now that we are seriously two days away from meeting our little goldfish i’ve been reflecting on the past nine months and what i’ve learned, what i wish i would have listened to, what people tell you etc. there is so much information out there in internet and book world about pregnancy (why not add a bit more right?)

it’s overwhelming what to read, believe and honestly i feel like sometimes pregnancy to women is like swapping war or fishing stories. who had the longest hardest pregnancy and labor. truth is it’s different for everyone. and these points here are simply my opinion.

  1. it’s ok to have freak out moments. when i found out i was pregnant both times i had this insane freak out in my head. “WHAT did i just do!??!?” “WHAT do i do now!?!?” honestly these feelings came before the excitement settled in. at first i felt really guilty about that. especially with the second pregnancy. but honestly i was scared. and i think it’s totally ok to be scared. if i’m being totally honest here you’ll have little moments of freak outs throughout the entire pregnancy. it’s normal it’s a huge life change and it’s ok to be scared.
  2. the rumor that everyone will tell you their horror stories is true – find good resources. no matter if it’s on google, your bump apps, forums, friends or seriously complete strangers, people are going to tell you their horror stories if they have them. and i’m not kidding it freaks you out. the best thing i did was find a trusted doctor, took a birth class, and talked about labor and delivery with friends who i know do not exaggerate. with my doctor and in birth class i was able to seriously ask the questions “is it true epidurals wore off”  “is it true they sometimes do not work”… etc. my questions and fears were mostly around the pain of labor but once i was able to discuss with the doctors i felt more at ease. sometimes these things do happen but when you talk to a doctor they give you the facts and then how they solve these kinds of issues. trust me it put my mind MUCH more at ease.
  3. this will be the slowest fastest time of your life. when i think back to november it seems like years and years ago. however i’m sitting here thinking how did i have 8 years with joe and they seem to have gone so fast?! i feel like we just moved here, we just got married… but thinking back to all we have done, accomplished and grown the time just seems right. the last nine months have been very taxing with all of the health information and doctors appointments and what if’s that it seems like we’ve been waiting forever for this. but i blinked and here it is. savor the time it’s just the two of you. it comes to the end of your pregnancy and you find yourself frantically savoring each morning, each cup of coffee together as a family of two.
  4. you will have a $hit ton of feelings and you need to communicate those to your partner. i’m an emotional person already so when the pregnancy hormones kicked in i felt like i was going insane. i would cry to myself at something as stupid as keeping up with the kardashians. i didn’t want to cook, the thought of cooking the first few months even cutting veggies made me want to throw up. it was so so weird. towards the end i have become frantic and freak out at clutter, dirt, things i used to give two craps about. i cried because joe tracked in two dusty foot prints. honestly it’s just hormones and a frantic need to get things completed that make you go a little nuts. it’s important to communicate these feelings to your partner because speaking from experience they have no idea what is going on in your head. once i started telling joe how i was feeling no matter how fricken insane it made me sound it really helped out our relationship. i realized i need to attempt to keep my crazy contained if i could and joe realized he needed to go a little more above and beyond no matter how stupid it sounds.
  5. do what is best for you. when i signed up for birth class a lot of people told me they didn’t go, they went all natural or they didn’t find them as helpful as others. and that is great that is what worked for them. for joe and i… we are not “baby people”. honestly i haven’t changed a diaper in almost 10 years and joe…. has never changed a diaper. also i wanted to hear from the nurses how this labor thing is supposed to work. yes there were parts that were a little… strange. the whole visualizing yourself in a happy place thing? but you know what you never know what will keep you calm and cope with pain during labor. it’s good to know it all isn’t it? you have to do what is best for you. everyone will have an opinion and 99% of the time they come from a place of love. take the advice you want to (even this advice) and you do you.
  6. the love you feel is indescribable. the love you have right away for this little pint size peanut you’ve never met and is growing inside of you is unlike anything you will feel in your life. that is what made miscarriage so so hard. you do everything you can to protect this little bean growing inside of you because you as a mother and the “carrier” have this intense connection within you. i can’t even fathom what it’s going to be like when the goldfish is actually born if i already love it this month. the love for your partner changes too. at least it did for me. not in a bad way but in a deeper mature way. i look at joe and i can’t believe there is going to be a little person in this world that is the combination of the two of us. i look at how joe acts, handles situations and think of him being a father and it just melts my heart and makes me love him even more if that is possible.
  7. it’s a wild ride enjoy it. it’s a wild wild ride. savor it, enjoy it. hold on to it, record it. it’s a precious time that you will never forget. remember this is your journey and you can navigate it however is best for you.

photos by the incredible and super talented Leah Mullett Photography 

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